Thursday, December 21, 2006

Time goes by...

I can't believe its been almost two months since my last post. Life certainly hasn't been quiet, but I just haven't felt like writing about it. Most knit blogs I read are so clever and the knitters are so interesting that I really don't feel I have much to contribute.

I did a terrible job of Christmas knitting this year. I had so many plans of things I wanted to do for gifts, but the only ones being done were a pair of Fetching gloves for my new boss, and some knit face cloths for the two women I work with - which actually aren't finished and I have until tomorrow morning to complete it or its not worth giving.

I've been knitting, but haven't completed anything. Its become a metaphor for life - I start something, really enjoy it, but when I get to the end (the finishing of the knitted item) I have no desire to continue - I usually jump over to start another project. I have so many things on the needles, and even more in the queue, but I still haven't finished the cardigan I started knitting in September. All that's left is the seaming and knitting a buttonband. But I can't seem to find the energy or motivation to finish it. New projects are much more exciting!

I'm also struggling with some sort of illness. I think I may be in the developing stages of either fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome. I've just had no energy lately at all. When I get home, all I want to do is sleep. This is very unusual for me - I usually wind up staying up too late and then regreting it the next morning. But the past several weeks, I've been ready to fall into bed as soon as I get home. The last time this happened, it turned out to be mono. From what I've read, if the symptoms return, its likely the beginnings of CFS. I don't have time for that! But it's not unexpected for this to happen - many women with endo have the same issues. I just REALLY wish I didn't have to deal with it.

I have big plans though of finishing the cardigan and a few other things I've started while I enjoy the 16 DAYS OFF I have over the next couple of weeks. Words can't describe how excited I am to have this time off. So far, other than the usual Christmas duties, I only have to spend some time with my dad, at an attorney's office, drawing up a will or a living trust, whatever he decided to do. During the rest of the time, I'm knitting, knitting, cleaning house, knitting, decluttering, knitting, watching "Alias", knitting, watching "House", knitting, cooking, baking, meal planning...all the FUN stuff I don't usually get to do. The desire to be a stay-at-home-wife is getting bigger each year - maybe someday. I'd like nothing more than a house full of kids and the opportunity to raise them, home school, cook, clean, and knit. That would be heaven in my world.

I also plan to try to make my first quilt - a wall hanging, which I'm not sure where in my home should actually hang. Last year my goals were to learn to crochet, knit, and quilt. I started crocheting, but never quite got the hang of it, so I moved on to knitting. In the nine months since I picked up the needles, I haven't wanted to put them down long enough to learn to quilt. I have a ton of quilting books and magazines, and enough fabric for at least two wallhangings, two throws, and I think one queen size quilt - but I still haven't actually begun it. 2007 is the year to learn it and actually complete a project.

I love the new year. Other than Christmas its my favorite time of year. I think its because I'm so fond of new beginnings - especially in my own life. Thank God for His grace and mercy each day - we get a new slate whenever we ask forgiveness! He's so good to cleanse our hearts and let us begin again. I need that so often...