Thursday, September 28, 2006

Need more hours in the day...

I really need some motivation. Motivation for lots of reasons. Motivation to just do the basics in life - laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, menu planning, coupon cutting. Motivation to start working out so I can actually wear all the things I want to knit (it's occurred to me that I wouldn't have to buy so much yarn if I didn't have to knit the largest size, therefore I could use the money I'm currently spending on the larger amount of yarn to buy yarn for other projects). Motivation to actually work while AT work.

But all I want to do is knit.

I'm not depressed. I'm just lazy. And obsessed with knitting. To the point that last night, when I got home I had to fold laundry, straighten up the kitchen, start another load of laundry, run a load of dishes in the dishwasher, help DH bathe the dogs, fix dinner, go thru the mail, and take out the trash. All things that most normal women do on any given day. But I was irritated by the time I finally got to sit down, eat, watch TV and knit. Irritated because I had spent two hours doing all these things when I could have been knitting. And irritated with myself because I know I shouldn't feel this way.

My priorities are out of line. I'm becoming lazy. Knitting is supposed to be a hobby, not an obsession. I know this, yet I don't want to stop knitting. I keep thinking that I need to just spend a few minutes menu planning and going over the grocery store sales, making lists and designing routines for each day so I can come home, do the things that need to be done quickly, and have more time to knit. I love to read, and I haven't read a book completely thru in months. Magazines are arriving in the mail and being stacked without me even glancing thru them (my living room is a library right now and DH isn't happy about it). I'm exhausted because I'm staying up too late at night to knit.

There are so many things I want to do and want to have - a clean, organized house so I can relax and not feel guilty while knitting (and DH would be happier), sell some things on Ebay (magazines, anyone?), cookbooks I want to go thru and recipes I want to try, books I want to read, I still want to learn to quilt and crochet...but knitting is taking priority over all of these things. I keep finding more projects I want to start, many more than I'll ever actually be able to knit. I have enough yarn for several projects yet want to buy more. I have a list of things I need to have finished by Christmas, yet I haven't even started on them.

And I have no idea how to stop knitting. And no desire to.


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